Sunday, July 31, 2005

Torn between two authors...

I prefer to model my writing style on that of the late great Douglas Adams of whom I shall be in eternal awe. But for sheer audacity, RB is it. Think of a cross between Ali G and Einstein and you're getting the idea. Now throw in a bit of de Bono, Ford (Henry, not Gerald) and a dash of Jim Henson and you'll either hit the nail on the head or lose the plot entirely. For those who don't understand, my only advice is to drop your pants so the air can make it to your brains.

Anyway, before I was distracted from what I was doing by the sudden appearance of a Gripe, I was myself cruising blogs and the punters haven't let me down. If I often appear to be unjustifiably distemperate, it's because I have been deprived of the life-sustaining enthusiasm of people who think. It doesn't really matter to me over what people cogitate, it only matters to me they don't behave like sheep.

The following bits for which I cruised blogland earlier today are amusing to me for various reasons but above all because of their raw simplicity - like a fat bratwurst baguette and some piquant sauce or other.

So, for those times when risotto and bruschetta just doesn't do it for you, here's the full-fat version of life:

i am in a strange mood. if i try to demean your personal beliefs or opinons dont be angry i just feel like making people doubt themselves. nothing personal
(Neither is murder, it's just a family thing usually.)

Partying and reading.
Lately I've been feeling much more than indifferent towards life, which is always a good thing. Thursday night was the OAR concert. The opening acts were both awesome. Even though they only played one song I knew, I really enjoyed OAR's set. It was just great to dance and observe the drunk people.
(Only when they fall down and can't get up again.)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Okay, I was gonna edit my last post to add this, but it's so awesome it deserves its own entry:

WE DON'T HAVE TO TUCK IN OUR SHIRTS THIS YEAR!
(It is, after all, the little things that matter in this life.)

I hate it here. I have nothing to do and no one to talk to. Josh didn't even want to talk to me tonight. I think that the relationship is over. Im sick of the pretending. Everything is not going to be ok. It sucks and its going to continue to suck. Sure I met a guy that seems nice, his name is Kevin, but I'm sure in three weeks or so the fact that he is a guy will prevail and show that he is just another asshole. Im sick of all the people who keep telling me that I made the "right" choice. Fuck off, I'm miserable and nothings going to change that. I guess the only thing good about being here is that my dad used to be a bartender and has a copious amount of alcohol. I've gotten trashed every night since I moved here. I have a feeling that by the time I move again there won't be any alcohol left in the house. HAHA, I will prolly be going to AA meetings by then too. I hate this place.
(But she'd be determined to hate Paradise too, it would seem. Motto for the day: If it feels good, fuck it up.)

Shit I think I'm out of milk
(Now the whole world knows.)

got this shit called neutrogena oil free acne wash...i think its actually killing my face instead of helping it.
(I would have told you that if you'd taken the time to ask. Go on, ask me what I think of Herbal Essences.)

HAHAHA
(14:34:41) Larkaen: I met the lead singer of creed last night at denny's
(14:34:50) ibhamp: really?
(14:34:53) Larkaen: Yep
(14:35:04) ibhamp: did you tip him well
(This was just too good not to pinch.)

Here is the update, I went camping with Nick, Andy, Alie, Finch, Kurt, Mer, Liz, Brandi, Laraesha and Trevor and it was awesome! First day we went to Michigan Adventures where we all had a pretty good time except for Andy and Laraesha during the rides because they have a slight fear of rollercoaster but i expect you may too if you fell off of a house.
(Fell off a house... good point. Have to remind myself not to do that in future.)

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A quarter for the therapy jar -
I finally figured out why mom and I didn't get along while me growing up. Aside from the fact that you can't have two alpha females in the house and not butt heads all the time. It's because she doesn't talk to me.

Oh, there's the appearance of talking, but it's not really there. It's like going to the dentist where they babble at you and ask you lots of questions, but they don't really want you answer because they've got their fingers in your mouth along with something sharp and pointy.
(This gets the prize for stating the obvious and using the words sharp and pointy in the same sentence.)

****************************************

(haha, I am a posting fiend tonight!! You will suffer through a months worth of backlogged babble! Be afraid!!)
so i went downtown with my annoying aunt who doesnt let her daughter live, and my cousin who asks so many unnecessary questions...it was bland.
(Bland? Bland is rice pudding not annoying aunts.)

did i ever say how much i love my wonderful boyfriend?
(Probably. Did I ever tell you you'll change your tune one day?)

Dear Saritonin Receptors:

Please hold on a little tighter.

Yours, as ever,
Am
(I wonder if they got the message considering the address was incorrect.)

Nothing's like it used to be
I'm back. I'm tired. My throat hurts from talking too much. Had a grand old time at Venita's BBQ. She nearly got killed, but that was the entertainment.
(I'm sure she's killing herself even now.)

I would love to party with some of these people. I'll even bring my own milk.

We have leftovers from last night's reception filling the fridge here. Lots of slices of roast beef. I'm thinking of heating it up, splashing it liberally with gravy and adorning the empty parts of the plate with lovely roast vegetables. It's as close as I'm going to come to bratwurst in a bread roll, although we have quite a few of those here as well.

David Bowie is presently robbing me of my power to think very clearly. There's a starman waiting in the sky and he's making it less than easy to think about German sausages or anything else for that matter.

I'm thinking more of the Discovery team and hoping for all I'm worth they make it back alive and healthy. I don't much care for tragedies. No doubt I'll have something else I'll wish to blog later tonight. I still can't update the Batcave sight, although at least now it's visible. I'd pay for hosting but that just seems silly when I get what I want and someone else is happy to pay for it. When I want more than my present service provides, then I'll start paying for hosting. Simple.
So then, done for now. More later.

1 comment:

Eff said...

Oh, what an hour it will be to be included in that.