OMGOMGOMG! KING TRIGGER!!

For those of you who are old enough to cast your minds back to 1982, do so immediately. It was the birth of the alternative music scene and the age of the one hit wonder bands who got their ambition from Patrick Hernandez.

In the midst of the birthing pangs of Madonna's career, Abba's transformation from mindless pop to more meaningful songs, Elton John doing a video in cartoon fashion because no club at the end of the street would let him film it there and way before Billy Joel went walking in his sleep in the middle of the night, there was...

THE RIVER!

Forget Devo, forget Madness and their Baggy Trousers, forget Our House in whatever part of the street. All parvenus.

King Trigger came along in 1982 and with one song told them all to go fuck themselves. This song is the trump card of music that beats the shit out of all those sad deadhearted old farts who just don't get it.

And if you "don't get" this song, you really have no right to be exploring the wild frontiers of cyber space. Seriously. Go back to Yahoo or wherever you came from and swap avatars and tofu recipes and look at Homes & Garden online until the nursing home staff come to fetch you from pools of your own effluent.

The campaign is afoot to re-release this song. I won't say the best song ever, but it's right up there. It's the song they tried to bury because they couldn't understand it. Couldn't understand that THERE WAS NOTHING TO UNDERSTAND.

It was the ultimate 'up yours' to everything, from its style, its beat and its lyrics and especially the video clip.

It raeps the big name bands and artists and at the same time it mocks those crappy songs we had to sing in kindergarten. It's a Round with a disco beat. Cop that!

The River, by King Trigger goes beyond the ability of mere words to encompass it's awesomeness. To describe this song as merely awesome is to do it the most heinous injustice.

I am in awe of the sheer scale of the awesomeness of this song and the video clip which went with it.

The video is epic. It has an inflatable dinghy, a double barreled storm water drain, a fat man with his face painted, holding an umbrella and jumping around in his underpants, it has a scantily clad Jamaican woman, an animated crocodile and lots of other things as well. You should watch it and be swept away by it.

Here's the Youtube link. Copy this and keep it in your browsers for safe keeping. Just as Abba will never die, this song is going to haunt your dreams from now until you die. (Just in a good way, not in an Abba kind of way.)

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|  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5tLpzVZi-0         |
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If you dislike this song, don't understand it, don't get it or can't see it, I want you to get the fuck off my internet right now.