The strangest memories are provoked by the most amazing circumstances.

I've just been reminded of a pleasant little love affair I had years and years ago when I was hot for the older sister of one of the kids in one of my football teams. She was too young when I first met her so I waited until she was 18 before letting on that I was interested. (I was 23 by then.)

Anyway, one night we were sitting in her lounge room in front of an open fire casting longing gazes at one another wishing for all hell that her mother would piss off and go to bed.

Finally, as midnight came and went, she decided it was time for her to go to bed and she did. It was then I was left in this semi-darkened lounge room with her mother who was wishing for all hell for the preceeding hour that her daughter would go to bed.

Not a happy Rat. No, not one bit happy.

And that reminds me of another time when I was 15 and met a divine apparition at a pool party. I was 15 at the time and thought I was flirting madly with the elder of two sisters, the younger one being 14. Then I spoke to their mother about what a nice daughter she had. Her mother told me she was a great kid - for an 11 year old.

I didn't say much for the rest of the night to anybody. I wasn't in the mood.

Another time when I was 17 I met a girl on the train who was happy to spend half an afternoon talking to me. We were getting on famously. She was a bit shorter than I was, short blonde hair, very pretty face - and 23 and married.

And then there was Patrick's sister, who was the right age, right height, single, we shared common interests, she was cool, classy, fairly quiet and - an amazingly slovenly dirty and selfish peasant. You have to see someone in their natural habitat to get the full appreciation of them. Sometimes it's better to have illusions.

I understand now why some guys think more of their cars than their women.


Now, speaking of transport, Cheri the bike; yes I know you read my blog. The hit counter records all the ISPs and Cincinnati just keeps coming up and you're the only resident of Cincinatti that I know. You're busted!