Saturday, January 12, 2002

This world is an ever evolving and de-volving place. DwevskyX, a net-geek who rates with the best of them has a nearly fab website at It's got lovely graphics and useful things as well, it's sprinkled with humourous bits and pieces and is really quite a professional looking site. Until the end of November last year, that is. Now the site appears to be sliding into that eternal e-graveyard of unused and unloved sites that make cyberspace look like a journey back through time rather than the biggest garage sale imaginable. What's more, his mobile phone number has been disconnected and catching on the net in any chatrooms is like bumping into Elvis at a party.
Now, my idol on the world wide timetrap, Chris Locke - Rageboy, is proving to be more enigmatic than ever. Sometimes, when I'm being frivolous, I send him an email to which I often get a reply. But when I offer money - real gelt, not that Monopoly stuff - in exchange for a copy of his new book - both of them actually - he vacates cyberspace like the starship Enterprise out of the Neutral Zone. What gives?
I know what's happened!! He's eloped with DwevskyX!!! What a horrible thought! JJ, RB, I still love ya! But I'm going to get that book request to ya and a response outta ya if it's the last thing I do.
At present, I'm sitting in a cyber cafe in Prahran (Melbourne) on this Saturday, January 12 during a gay and lesbian street party which is as busy as a one armed taxi driver with crabs. (And there may just be one or two of those in the crowd.) Why? Because my arsewiping brother forbids me to use his room to get on the internet while he's home. It's my puter, my modem and my ISP, but the damn puter is in his room. Don't ask for more specific details, it involves death.
The Swamp is doing better now than it was 2 months ago. What that means is I'm posting with greater regularity but the subscriber base is still a pathetic 15 individuals. At least there are one or two I don't know personally. Interestingly enough though, someone has posted two editions of it at Now, if you're really brave, you can go to, search for Chatrat and it will give you direct access to those two newsletters. And what's more (I'm not ashamed to blow my own trumpet here) my name, Paul Ritchie, is actually in the first page of search results. I just wish I could get money for all this crap I do on the internet.
Never mind. Archimedes Pancake is still alive and well - although no submissions have yet been forthcoming from the wider community - anonymous or otherwise. So if you're feeling brave, email me at or if not, go to my humble website at and use the form mail at the bottom of the page, and I just get it as not you.
So go for it so lot's more people can get a good laugh at your misfortunes.
Also, while you're feeling charitable towards this lil Rat, subscribe to my newsletter:
It can't hurt and you may even get a laugh out of it - if you've read this far.
Lots of love and big girlie kisses on all your behinds,
Paul. (Aka ChatRat.)

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