Ho ho friggin' ho. It's Monday morning again, and it's Christmas day tomorrow. No work at the angel of automotive for three weeks. The cars of Melbourne are safer than they've been since the place closed for Christmas last year.

Although it has been written elsewhere, I feel I should write something about My Family and Other Animals. Just not here. My older brother takes his modem and runs away denying me of my rightful place on the internet. I run out and buy another one and his one magically re-appears the very same day.

The prick who pinched my IRC nick - ChatRat (obviously) has let it slip and I've got it back. I've also got Grape_Ape back so don't even think about it. Can you tell I'm in a sore mood?

I haven't been to visit my website yet, that comes a bit later today. I'm waiting for more people to use the automail jiggy boo at the bottom of the first page so I can do another page with all the contributions so far. Just at the moment, however, there aren't enough to bother doing it.

Several people describe the world wide timetrap as a big conversation. One of them even has a blog here. Go to www.rageboy.com and find out all about it. I would especially like to hear from anyone who speaks Italian fluently and that includes Italian slang. So if this is you, trot along to www.powow.com/chatrat and use the email jiggy boo at the bottom of the first page. I have something I'd like translated so I can do my next newsletter.

For all those who care, have a scintillating Christmas. For those who don't - like me - hurry up and get the BS over with so the rest of us can get back to doing what we like best.

Either way, I hope y'all get a lot of laughs.

Monday friggin morning and I'm humming and harring about whether or not to go to work today, or whether I'm going to do some more brain exercises and put words on the world wide timewaste. I know which is more fun but I also know where the faster money is going to come from.

Anyway, the phone rings, it's the boss and he'll be round at my place in half an hour or so to pick me up.

The following paragraphs were removed due to the altered nature of the status quo and the fact that I'm sober. If you would like to know what went on here while your back was turned, I'm not surprised. Voyeurism is enormously prevalent on the internet as the proliferation of pornography sites on the big e-bog would indicate.

If this is the case, I suggest you find a nice quiet place out of direct sunlight and maturbate until the urge goes away.

In the meantime, and if the server is actually working, go play around with the email jiggy boo at the bottom of my page at:
ChatRat's Pad

Failing that, if you're feeling agitated or in some way superior to your fellow man, click on the following which will bring you back to real size and importance:

Rageboy

Lots of love,
Paul.

Well well well, here we are staring at each other through the ether. You're wondering what I'm doing here and the reality is that I fucked off hours ago and I'm probably having sex with someone else's wife right at this moment. What you are in reality staring at is a visual representation of an extraordinarily long lasting echo. Ever wondered what dogs are REALLY saying when the postman rides past? Well, Rex is now telling the postman he don't want no motherfuckin' flea powder from Afghanistan no more.

Anyway, I'm going back to what I was doing before I was so rudely interrupted. If you're VERY lucky, I might have more to blog about later. In the meantime, I have two other muddle puddles which you may care to read:

http://www.powow.com/chatrat

http://www.topica/com/lists/swamp/subscribe

or if you're too much of a pussy to subscribe;

http://www.topica.com/lists/swamp/read

Now. If you're REALLY brave, click on this:

Rageboy

Good day to you all.

Lots of love,
ChatRat