In his first visit to the sunken wreck of the Titanic since 1985, Bob Ballard was shocked at how fast the wreckage had deteriorated and he wants the US Congress to pass legislation giving greater protection ot the sunken vessel.

Huh?

The tub is in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean - international waters. And it's two miles down.

Bob Ballard says most alarming is the damage caused by submersibles landing on the deck.

Damage? It's a fucking shipwreck. Let's just put a little perspective on this. The boat's fucked. It's not like you can paddle your inflatable dinghy out to take photos of the thing on a sunny Sunday afternoon, it's at the bottom of the ocean and you need serious cash and not a little gumption to land a submersible on it. For what purpose and to whose benefit is it to 'preserve' a decaying hunk of metal so far removed from Joe Public the only ones who care what happens to it are those thinking they can profit from it somehow.

Including Bob Ballard.

And what kind of absurd conceit firstly to approach the US Congress to IMPOSE a solution on the rest of the population of planet Earth concerning a decaying lump of metal 2 miles beneath the surface of the middle of nowhere, and secondly to actually believe they would or could do anything to make sure Bob Ballard's rights are given preference over these vandals to make money out of the Titanic at the expense of those who are actually now investing their time, money and lives beating him to the spoils.

I want to kill Bob Ballard. People that unbalanced are a danger to the gene pool.

What a cunt.

And there's more from today's edition of MX that has for the moment planted me firmly into a world of surrealism.

Junk food ads are set to be banned before 9pm in Britain because pommy kids are turning into fat little pooh bears. This is a move to 'protect' children watching early evening television.

Can anyone else see 500 million cubic feet of irony here or is it just me?

And finally...

Ian Fothergill has started up his own business removing dog shit from the backyards of the dogs' owners. With such an outstanding degree of laziness on the part of dog owners in Tasmania, I am looking forward to an exponential increase of double chins on both faces of the two headed Australians.

This week is not the week to be buying up big on lottery tickets methinks. Then again, with this much weird shit happening here and around the world, maybe karma is so fucked up right now, it may give me a win by accident.